The Timechanges Blogger

These are the times when your life is changing and you need special thoughts from a friend, and that friend is Neal Anderson, a fellow who knows a thing or two about the Timechanges!!!

Name:

I am a personal Timechanges consultant and also, I am a writer!!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006!!! from you main man.

It is 2006! Hey guess what? 2005 is over and a New Year has begun, so let's all make a resolution to "get it together" in the new year, which is 2006. This is a time of, for me personally I believe, enormous Timechanges, which is what this blog is all about, and I know I haven't done any web blogging lately, but I will be doing it soon!!! And it is exciting because I have some great ideas for Spacers, like I know now that there will be a giant cougar, who can talk, his name is Jerome.

Happy New Year!!!!!!! See you soon!!!!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Thursday, July 28, 2005

SPACERS 4!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SPACERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all CONGRATULATIONS KELLY MONACO FOR WINNING DANCING WITH THE STARS!!!!!!!!

Okay, what is happening in Spacers ?????? (it has been so long!!! SORRY!!!)
One thing is that the Spacer’s spaceship is now called Lady Ken Jelepy, because the other name was already taken. Also Starbone (the cool one) no longer looks like Bo Bice because Bo Bice is a JERK who thinks people are STALKERS when they are definitely NOT STALKERS. Starbone now looks like me crossed with John Depp (!!) but John Depp in the Pirates one not the superfreaky one about the chocolate where he looks like a freaky lady. Actually, the Spacers are a lot like pirates. Princess Aremenian still looks like Carrie Underwood, our “American Idol” champion, FAIR AND SQUARE.

Back to SPACERS!!!!!!!!!!!

What has happened.? Crybaby Kee-bo’s mom and dad were robots and they were shot by Starbone and Princess Armenian and their Spacer guns, and maybe they shot his sister Kasaba too (by accident). BUT KEE-BO’S ROBOT PARENTS WERE GOING TO KILL KEE-BO so it is fine. Then they (THE SPACERS) take off with Kee-bo in LADY KEN JELEPY the spaceship. Then the CREEPERS (BADDIES!) come up out of nowhere and they blam it up and they kill the snooty French robot. Everybody cries, especially Kee-bo, who is the world’s biggest crybaby. ALSO! McGOOOLIHAN is a real baddie - the half man half spaceship! Aereolahy, we don’t know what her deal is yet, Aerolahay. She is just like “aaaaagh help me Kee-bo!!!!”

Also on the spaceship Lady Ken Jelepy there is RUSTY THE BIG RED ROOSTER MAN.

Also BIG BALL ROBOT.

Also three freaky Siamese twins reading Kee-bo’s mind with their SECRET MIND POWERS.

Now what?

They beat the Creepers - good!

Kee-Bo has stopped crying about the dead Frenchman (thank God!) and he is looking at Princess Armenian and then looking at Starbone (!) and then thinks to himself “These two are made for each other!” And it is true! If ever there were two Spacers more perfect for each other you can bet I would like to meet them ASAP!!! The thing is, even though they are so good for one another, they are always fighting! This is classic stuff. Like sometimes Princess Armenian is wiping the space windows (on Lady Ken Jelepy the spaceship) and Starbone will walk by smoking a cigar and say “Now I seen everything – a Princess wiping my windows!” and she will be like “Ha! Yeah right, I guess you forgot I won this here spaceship from you in a game of cards!” And he’ll be like “You are so f***ing stupid!” and she’ll be “I’m gonna cut your Peterson off!” Then they will kiss a bit, no tongue. Classic!

“Have a beer, Kee-bo!” This is Starbone, throwing Kee-bo a “cold one.” (DO NOT FREAK OUT – I know that Kee-bo is just a boy but this is outer space and the rules are different and do you know what else, beer is different too, it is more like root beer, only with alcohol.)

Kee-bo is starting to chill out, not crying all the time. Now he can ask the questions like a nice calm little one.

“Who are you people and where are going!?” This is Kee-Bo.

“I told ya, ya little brat, we’re Spacers and we’re going to the galactic rim!” This is Starbone.

“Why?” This Kee-bo.

Princess Armenian stands up, very proud. She is like “The High Council of Spacers have told us to go there and when we will get there they will tell us why! They also told us to pick you up from Zargon-5, because your parents were robots that were trying to kill you!”

Kee-bo is crying again. Big Ball Robot goes “BEEP BOOP BAH” to cheer him up. It works! Everybody laughs. HAHAHA!!!!!

Starbone says to Princess Armenian – “Ha you laugh like a horse!”
And she goes: “Ha right and you laugh like a horse’s derriere!!!!” (French)
Then they are all sexy and winking, and Princess Armenian looks a little bit like a prostitute , but one like The Pretty Lady, nice. Maybe they are about to kiss… Are they!!!??? BUT…..

THEN THERE IS A NOISE!

BOOM CLANG A LANG A!!! Uh oh, no!!!!

DON'T CRY KEE-BO!!!

"WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

NEXT SPACERS: MCGOOLIHAN IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 04, 2005

War of Worlds!!!!!!!!!!!

It is so weird I am supposed to put this on the other blogger, the one about the movies, but it will not work and I will have to call someone, but I am so excited about this that I had to had to HAD TO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW so here it is in and then later (when I can) I will put it on the one about the movies but here it is. Spacers will be back soon! Now for A War of the Worlds!

OMG!!!!!!!! The biggest blockbuster is out now, and it is A War of the Worlds!!!! I saw it last night and do you know what? I am really scared. I am scared because this amazing movie is a true and terrifying tale and I have never seen anything like it!!!! There is so much to say!!!!!!! This movie is from two of Hollywood's crown princes, Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, so you know it is going to be good!!!!!

First, the plot of this movie. In this movie, I believe, Tom Cruise plays a cool guy who drives a super crane and is all like “Whatever” when his two nerdy kids show up for the weekend. Their mother is a big old b-word who has left Tom Cruise to marry a nerd. There is the little blonde one from the movie with the black man and a teenage boy who is a nobody and has to finish his homework? But guess what? There is no time for homework when a giant robot man comes up out of the sidewalk, I believe, and starts shooting everybody and eating buildings and such. Tom Cruise is like WHAAAAA???? So even Tom Cruise is scared, I understand that, but why is he not fighting the giant robot? He should get in his jet plane (a la The Top Gun) and blam it up, or go karate on it or something (a la the Final Samari). But I suppose he cannot because he is a father. Then he gets his kids and they are running away. Many people get killed by the giant robots. Then the teenager wants to join the army. His name is Robbie, and he wants to join the army so bad it hurts (I know the feeling Robbie!!!!!!) Then the other guy from the movie with the weirdo river molesters shows up and he is completely bats. Then the river molester and Tom Cruise go into a room together and something happens, I don't know. Then they are running again, and then I became completely scared and I had to make a phone call but I am okay now.

These big robots, they are really some baddies. They are just tearing it up all over the place, and in one scene they are zapping people in a river, just like in The Titanic. I really do not know what I would do if they showed up one day like in this movie. If I ever see lightning, like in a lightning storm, I will just start running and never stop. I AM SO SCARED!!! If I saw the little blonde girl crying alone in the street while I was running, I would give her all of my change but I WOULD NOT STOP RUNNING. She is a smart one, she will be okay on her own. I would not run forever, because I am no coward. Eventually I would join the army like Robbie.

BUT WHY IS THERE NO SUPER CREW IN THIS MOVIE!!!??? If I was the President and the giant robots popped up and started freaking everybody out, I would pick up my special President phone and start calling all the best good guys and then we would have a SUPER CREW to fight the baddies. I would call:

1) The Batman
2) The Superman
3) The Daredevil
4) Miss Jessica Alba
5) Miss Sandra Bullock
6) Rumpelstiltskin
7) Michael Bubbley
8) Blackie Peas
9) Harry Porter
10) The Lord of the Rings
11) Spidey!
12) Darth Vader
13) Geronimo!!!!
14) Jimmy Fallon
15) Tiger Wood!
16) All of the other super people
17) The black one who knows the little blonde one
18) Leonard Kravitz (rock n’ roller)
19) Tom Cruise, because I think he does a pretty good job in this one
20) Tom Cruise’s new wifey Kate Holmes, so they will not be separated
21) Others.

That should do it. Also, my friend Danny P. says that if the witch from The Bewitched was in Herbie they could do it too. IF ONLY HE REMEMBERED that ONLY TOM CRUISE’S CAR WORKS WHEN THE ALIENS COME & NOT EVEN WITCHERY WILL CHANGE THAT. HERBIE WILL NOT WORK FOR THIS ONE SORRY DANNY P.

A lot of things are killed and blown up in this movie, and that made me think of the one from a couple of years ago when the two superbuildings were exploded by the terrorists. Even in this movie the little blonde one goes “Is it the terrorists?” and everyone is like “I’ll bet it is.” Also, the other one that Steven Spielberg made that was set in the past and had the baddies from the Indiana Jones fighting the Jewish. It was in black & white (???). It had a scene like in The Psycho – scary, but everything was okay. Also, as I said before, The Titanic. These are all great movies, I believe, because they show terrible things happening and the whole human race must have timechanges and become okay again through struggle and heroism and much hardship and timechanges. That is why this not just some dumb movie that you go see and are like “Yeah, right, whatever” like Tom Cruise at the beginning, instead you must be like, “Okay, I get it now, I am learning to grow and have the timechanges.”

ALSO! If you get really scared after you see this movie and are always running away everytime you hear the lightning, DO NOT GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. Tom Cruise was saying that they are up to no good like the Indiana Jones baddies (NAZIS!) and I’ll bet that when the robots come down in real life one of them (The Psychiatrists) will be all evil with their white coats and little eyeglasses and be all like “Kill Zem!” (meaning humans not the robots! They will be all buddy buddies with the robots!) and they will tie up Kate Holmes and the little blonde one to feed them to the giant robots. Then if the President can get it together, it will be SUPER CREW TO THE RESCUE! I hope that they would make it there in time. The Super Crew should let Tom Cruise be the one to untie them (his ladies), it is the right thing to do. Okay, so DO NOT GO TO THE HEADSHRINKERS. Also, do not listen to the ones (Media!) who tell you that Tom Cruise is not a straight up straightly straight shooter! He is! He wants to help people! With this movie, he has helped many. Think about it.

See You at the Movies!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Problems That I Am Having

I am having problems with exhaustion and dehydration and I love you all and Spacers will begin again very soon. I found out that there is another lady called Lady Penelope so I will have to come up with a new name for the Spacers Space Ship very soon. Oh well!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Thursday, May 26, 2005

SPACERS 3!!!!!!!!

First of all, I would like to congratulate Carrie for winning American Idol!!!! So amazing!!! Bo is great too, but he will be okay, he is, I believe, a “tough guy.” They are both winners to me! But Carrie is the winner. Okay, now back to the Spacers!

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SPACERS 3

CREEPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Penelope (spaceship) is in big trouble because of the Creepers.

What are the Creepers? They are baddies, awful and disgusting. Are they robots? No. What do they look like? Horrible, just horrible. They have red helmets with devil horns, but guess what? It is not the devil they are worshipping, it is the big baddie McGoolihan, who is half a man and half a spaceship (actually, he is quite terrifying). Actually, now that I am thinking about it, it is not the helmets that have the devil horns, it is the actual heads of the Creepers, and the helmets have special holes for their horns. If you were to run into a Creeper in a space hallway or somewhere and the Creeper had misplaced his zapper, he would just take a run at you and try to stab at you with his pointy horns, which have poison that shoots out of them. This poison is like acid (LSD) which I believe can burn through any surface in the world, so you better look out! Their faces are so gross that they have to cover them up with the helmets, which I guess have mirrors on the front of them. That could be confusing for a space hero like a Spacer, because if you saw a Creeper you might be like “That is me!’ (because of the mirror) and then HIII-YAW you get stabbed with the poison horn acid (LSD).

Their ships (the fighting ships) are little bitty ones, but super fast and they are shaped like men – so it is their ships that look a lot like robots! Anyhoo, there are a whole bunch of them. That means BIG TROUBLE for the Spacers gang on the Lady Penelope, their own spaceship, a really good one, this one.

Little Kee-bo is asleep, or he was, he is waking up now because everybody is screaming “NO!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I HATE CREEPERS!!!!!” Even the robots are screaming. And Princess Armenian! The only ones not screaming are the Three Siamese Twins (creepy but nice) who cannot speak but have the special mind powers that they were using on Kee-bo while he was snoozing. What were they doing to him? I don’t know, I don’t know. Starbone (Starbone!) and Rusty the Rooster are driving, and they are shooting with the big blaster guns on the front of the Spaceship.

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO! ZAM! ZAM! (space guns)

“Uh oh, looks like we got a lot of the Creepers and they wanna party!” This is Starbone.

Rusty the Rooster goes “Cock a doodley doo! Yer right boss!”

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

ZAM! ZAM!

BEEE-YOOO!

“Yaw!!!!! Got one!!!!!” This is Starbone.

ZAM! ZAM! ZAM!

BEE-YOOOOOOOO! BEEEEEEEEEE-YOOOOOOO!!!!!

ZAM! ZAM!

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

Nice shut Rusty! (Rusty the Rooster)

ZAM! ZAM!

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

ZAM! ZAM! ZAM!

Uh oh! Main hull is blammed up pretty bad!

ZAM! ZAM! ZAM! ZAM! ZAM!

Arrrghhh!!!

BEE-YOOO! BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

Okay, now all of the Creepers are dead, except for a sneaky one that is off to tell on the Spacers to McGoolihan (big baddie).

Now something sad. In all the ruckus, the snooty French robot is dead – but before he dies he says (like a French one) “Zee Spacers will triumph in the end.”

Kee-bo is crying again, because he loved the French robot, even though they just met. The robot who is all like a big ball goes “Beep boo bah.” (upset!)

Everyone is crying, even though it is just a robot.

SO EXCITING!

And don’t forget about Aereolahay – in BIG trouble! Who is she!!??

Keep reading Spacers!

Yours truly, Neal Anderson

Monday, May 16, 2005

SPACERS 2!!!

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I am getting great feedback on the Spacers space story! People are loving it!!! Well guess what, I am loving writing it!!! I am especially happy that this space story will be helping people learn about their Timechanges. They will not even know that they are learning about them and then one morning they will wake up, I believe, and be all like “Oh ha ha, look at that, I’ve had the Timechanges in my bed, whilst sleeping, or such. In the new Spacers (SPACERS 2!), you will notice a BIG CHANGE! My friend Gary, who is a DJ, told me it was dumb to have one character named Kee-Bo and another (the Cowboy Guy) named Bo, because it is confusing, even though Bo looks SO MUCH like BO from The American Idol that it is the PERFECT NAME for him!!!! But Timechanges happen, and are important, and so I will change Bo’s name to STARBONE!!! That is the coolest name, so it is okay. HIS NAME IS NOW RICKY STARBONE, but EVERYBODY WILL JUST CALL HIM STARBONE!
NOW ENJOY the next part of Spacers! I think it is WAY BETTER than the first, I believe. STARBONE! KEE-BO! PRINCESS ARMENIAN!

Yours truly, Neal Anderson

P.S. I left the line-up for Star Wars because it was cold and a lady who might have been a hooker and was all laughing around with the robots with her weird-o hairdo and was giving me the evil eye. Was she a witch, a space witch. Wow that is a great idea for Spacers and I think I will do it, the Space Witch.

P.S.S Good luck to the singer Anthony Fedorov, because in a sad news he was made to leave off from The American Idol because Paula Abdul (?) tried to have sexual intercourse with him. Good luck Anthony! With your life! (It’s okay because he is a Russian!!!)

THE STORY:

SPACERS CHAPTER 2!!!


They are on the spaceship, now. Kee-bo is on the spaceship.

What is the spaceship called? It is called the Lady Penelope. All ships are ladies. Even the spaceships, I believe. This is a cool one, though. A blue one.

Starbone (BO!) is punching in the buttons, so is the big Rooster, Rusty the Rooster!
Princess Armenian makes the space bath for Kee-bo. The ship is going super-fast, at super speed. The planet behind them, which is Zargon-5, which is Kee-bo’s home, is becoming smaller and smaller, which is actually just a trick of the eye, I know that. But it looks like it is getting smaller.

Do you remember how Kee-bo’s parents (not his real parents) had their skin zapped off by Starbone and Princess Armenian, with their zappers, and then you could see that they were robots. Well, Kee-bo is still sad about that. Also, his sister, Kasaba, I think she is a goner too, and not a robot. That is so sad! She was young, but pretty. Don’t even think about it, I know, but anyways now she’s a goner. Kee-bo’s crying. I know, grow up, right? But he is REALLY sad about it, and he’s all like “Whaaaa!!!??? I’m on a spaceship!!!!” How would that make ME feel? WEIRD.

Princess Armenian. Is she a hooker? She looks like one, but nice. Kee-bo gets in the bathtub. It feels Good!!!!!!! His tears, I believe, become like the so many drops of water that have made his spacebath.

“Why did you zap my mommy and daddy?” This is Kee-bo, asking this question.

“I told ya little feller, they was robots!!! WE HAD TO!!!!” This is Starbone.

So now Kee-bo stops crying. FINALLY.

“Now saddle up, pardner.” (Starbone saying this.) “Yer in fer quite a ride! Spacers style!!!!”

“What is a Spacer?” This is Kee-bo.

“Allow me, monsieur,” says the snooty French robot, the one that is friends with the robot that looks like a big ball. It can even bounce like a big ball, the other one!

The French one (robot) says that a spacer is a special kind of spaceman, a spaceman who lives by his own rules! But also a spaceman that is after the biggest secret in outer space, the location of the BEST PLANET EVER. This planet is supposed to be SO GOOD, so filled with so many awesome things.

“What kind of things?” This is Kee-bo.

The Snooty French Robot says a bunch of things which are all great. What do you think is so great? That is what he said.

Kee-bo is happy now, happy enough to go to sleep right now.

Little does Kee-bo know is that while he is sleeping and the Lady Penelope is traveling at Superspeed the three freaky Siamese twins are reading his mind with their SECRET MIND POWERS.

Also, in another part of the galaxy, there is another ship, but it is weird. It is huge! And it has a face on it, a mean one. This face is so mean, it looks like the meany from the scary one with the scissor hands and the sweater, but it is only half of a face, and the other half is a spaceship. It is a half man half spaceship and it is called McGOOLIHAN! (is that a scary name?) McGOOLIHAN is filled with a bunch of other baddies, the CREEPERS.

ATTENTION CREEPERS!!! (This is the voice of McGOOLIHAN, and it sounds like part-man and part-spaceship, and REALLY scary) DESTROY KEE-BO!!!!

Nooooooo!!!! WHY!!!!???????????

Also, back in the spaceship Lady Penelope, in the spacebath, Kee-bo is having a dream and in his dream is a pretty girl, LEGAL!, and she is all like HELLLLP MEEEEE KEEEE-BOOOO!!!! She is all like floating in clouds and gases when she is saying this, in the dream. Kee-bo (in the dream) is all like Whaaa???? My name is Kee-bo! What’s your name? And she is all like “My name is Aereolahay!!!!”

Also, up in the special captains room which called a cockpit (I am not making this up it is true!!!!!!!) Starbone is all like (not in the dream!) “Uh oh we got trouble dead ahead – looks like a bunch a those darn Creepers!!!”

UH OH! And this is NOT PART OF THE DREAM! There is BIG TROUBLE AHEAD!!! CREEEEEEEEEEEEPERRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

Keep reading the Spacers!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

SPACERS!!!!!!

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NOTE FROM ME:
Will you guess where I am!? I am in line for New Star Wars with my friend Gary who is a DJ. It is so much fun. You can read all about it here (THIS IS A LINK TO THE INTERNET PLACE WHERE I WRITE ABOUT THE MOVIES!!!). I have been talking to my new friends about Timechanges and I have had an idea! People (all kinds!) can, I believe, be learning about the Timechanges from an exciting space story. This will be a spiritual story, and exciting. I will begin the story here, and soon it will be a very famous classic. Get ready for excitement! Here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!


THE STORY:

SPACERS 1: TO THE OUTER SPACE DIMENSION!

In space, in the galaxy.

Silence.
(There are no sounds in outer space.)

But wait!

On Zargon-5, it is a tiny moon planet. It is made of sand.
There is a lake, it is called Zargon Lake.

On the lake lives a family, but the boy is a weird one, the little one.

His name is Kee-bo. (KEE-BO!)

Kee-bo has a face like a black one, also a bit Chinese.
His parents are white ones (?).
His sister is named Kasaba. She is pretty but young, too young. Do not even think about it. DON’T. Even though she has silver cones on her whatsits.

One day Kee-bo is walking around the lake. The moon planet has many moons and even in the morning you can see like, six moons. Every morning Kee-bo walks around the lake. This time, the first thing about Kee-bo is he is sad. Why are you sad, Kee-bo?

Also this time, a spaceship comes down. It is huge, the spaceship. It is a blue one, it is cool.

Out there comes a man, he is a cowboy guy, all sass and such. It is Bo. He is just like the guy Bo on American Idol, only more of a cowboy. He chews the cud.

Also, there is a lady, a scrappy one, her name is Princess Armenian. She is like the blondie on American Idol, maybe, only maybe she looks more like a hooker (but she is not a hooker!!!!)

“Get in, get in!” yells Princess Armenian. (They are zapping now)

Kee-bo does not know what to do (he does not know he is adopted, this one.). They are firing off their zappers (zapping), and Kee-bo is, I believe, scared. He turns around and sees it is his parents that the space people are firing at (!). When the laser bullets hit the skin of his parents, their skin peels off and they are robots!!!!!!!

“WHAT!!!??? NOOOOO!!!!????” (This is Kee-bo)

Kasaba is dead or something. His sister. That’s sad! The cowboy guy – BO! - grabs Kee-bo and puts him on the ship.

Kee-bo is crying. Don’t be a baby, Kee-bo!

The scrappy lady – what is her name? Princess Armenian! She closes the “main hatch.” WHOOSH!

Cowboy guy (BO!) laughs, “Ha Kee-bo, you did not know that your folks was robots, but they are ha ha, and I’m sorry your sis done died but yee-ha we’s gonna have a good time!”

Kee-bo is still crying, in the ship. He can see that it is a cool ship, this one, and there are rugs and chandeliers everywhere (space ones).

Also, a big furry one, a rooster, but big.

Also, some robots. A snooty French robot, and one that is round like a ball, a big ball.

Also, three little Siamese twins who cannot talk but have special mind powers that I will be talking about later.

Kee-bo asks everybody who it is they are and where are they taking him!?

Cowboy guy (BO!) laughs and is like “Ha Kee-bo, we are the Spacers, and you will come with us to the adventure of the universe.”

Kee-bo says “Nooo wayyyy!” and “Awesome!!!!!!!”

BLAST OFF!

He will be having the timechanges, in space. (Kee-bo)

TO BE CONTINUED

(is it better than New Star Wars? Tell me! Be HONEST!!!!!)

Also, NEXT TIME: There will be a bad guy, a giant man who is part-man/part-spaceship! There will also be a pretty girl named Aereolahay. And also, special mind powers and the power of the Timechanges. KEEP READING!