The Timechanges Blogger

These are the times when your life is changing and you need special thoughts from a friend, and that friend is Neal Anderson, a fellow who knows a thing or two about the Timechanges!!!

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I am a personal Timechanges consultant and also, I am a writer!!!!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

SPACERS 3!!!!!!!!

First of all, I would like to congratulate Carrie for winning American Idol!!!! So amazing!!! Bo is great too, but he will be okay, he is, I believe, a “tough guy.” They are both winners to me! But Carrie is the winner. Okay, now back to the Spacers!

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SPACERS 3

CREEPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lady Penelope (spaceship) is in big trouble because of the Creepers.

What are the Creepers? They are baddies, awful and disgusting. Are they robots? No. What do they look like? Horrible, just horrible. They have red helmets with devil horns, but guess what? It is not the devil they are worshipping, it is the big baddie McGoolihan, who is half a man and half a spaceship (actually, he is quite terrifying). Actually, now that I am thinking about it, it is not the helmets that have the devil horns, it is the actual heads of the Creepers, and the helmets have special holes for their horns. If you were to run into a Creeper in a space hallway or somewhere and the Creeper had misplaced his zapper, he would just take a run at you and try to stab at you with his pointy horns, which have poison that shoots out of them. This poison is like acid (LSD) which I believe can burn through any surface in the world, so you better look out! Their faces are so gross that they have to cover them up with the helmets, which I guess have mirrors on the front of them. That could be confusing for a space hero like a Spacer, because if you saw a Creeper you might be like “That is me!’ (because of the mirror) and then HIII-YAW you get stabbed with the poison horn acid (LSD).

Their ships (the fighting ships) are little bitty ones, but super fast and they are shaped like men – so it is their ships that look a lot like robots! Anyhoo, there are a whole bunch of them. That means BIG TROUBLE for the Spacers gang on the Lady Penelope, their own spaceship, a really good one, this one.

Little Kee-bo is asleep, or he was, he is waking up now because everybody is screaming “NO!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I HATE CREEPERS!!!!!” Even the robots are screaming. And Princess Armenian! The only ones not screaming are the Three Siamese Twins (creepy but nice) who cannot speak but have the special mind powers that they were using on Kee-bo while he was snoozing. What were they doing to him? I don’t know, I don’t know. Starbone (Starbone!) and Rusty the Rooster are driving, and they are shooting with the big blaster guns on the front of the Spaceship.

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO! ZAM! ZAM! (space guns)

“Uh oh, looks like we got a lot of the Creepers and they wanna party!” This is Starbone.

Rusty the Rooster goes “Cock a doodley doo! Yer right boss!”

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

ZAM! ZAM!

BEEE-YOOO!

“Yaw!!!!! Got one!!!!!” This is Starbone.

ZAM! ZAM! ZAM!

BEE-YOOOOOOOO! BEEEEEEEEEE-YOOOOOOO!!!!!

ZAM! ZAM!

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

Nice shut Rusty! (Rusty the Rooster)

ZAM! ZAM!

BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

ZAM! ZAM! ZAM!

Uh oh! Main hull is blammed up pretty bad!

ZAM! ZAM! ZAM! ZAM! ZAM!

Arrrghhh!!!

BEE-YOOO! BEEE-YOOO! BEE-YOOO!

Okay, now all of the Creepers are dead, except for a sneaky one that is off to tell on the Spacers to McGoolihan (big baddie).

Now something sad. In all the ruckus, the snooty French robot is dead – but before he dies he says (like a French one) “Zee Spacers will triumph in the end.”

Kee-bo is crying again, because he loved the French robot, even though they just met. The robot who is all like a big ball goes “Beep boo bah.” (upset!)

Everyone is crying, even though it is just a robot.

SO EXCITING!

And don’t forget about Aereolahay – in BIG trouble! Who is she!!??

Keep reading Spacers!

Yours truly, Neal Anderson

Monday, May 16, 2005

SPACERS 2!!!

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I am getting great feedback on the Spacers space story! People are loving it!!! Well guess what, I am loving writing it!!! I am especially happy that this space story will be helping people learn about their Timechanges. They will not even know that they are learning about them and then one morning they will wake up, I believe, and be all like “Oh ha ha, look at that, I’ve had the Timechanges in my bed, whilst sleeping, or such. In the new Spacers (SPACERS 2!), you will notice a BIG CHANGE! My friend Gary, who is a DJ, told me it was dumb to have one character named Kee-Bo and another (the Cowboy Guy) named Bo, because it is confusing, even though Bo looks SO MUCH like BO from The American Idol that it is the PERFECT NAME for him!!!! But Timechanges happen, and are important, and so I will change Bo’s name to STARBONE!!! That is the coolest name, so it is okay. HIS NAME IS NOW RICKY STARBONE, but EVERYBODY WILL JUST CALL HIM STARBONE!
NOW ENJOY the next part of Spacers! I think it is WAY BETTER than the first, I believe. STARBONE! KEE-BO! PRINCESS ARMENIAN!

Yours truly, Neal Anderson

P.S. I left the line-up for Star Wars because it was cold and a lady who might have been a hooker and was all laughing around with the robots with her weird-o hairdo and was giving me the evil eye. Was she a witch, a space witch. Wow that is a great idea for Spacers and I think I will do it, the Space Witch.

P.S.S Good luck to the singer Anthony Fedorov, because in a sad news he was made to leave off from The American Idol because Paula Abdul (?) tried to have sexual intercourse with him. Good luck Anthony! With your life! (It’s okay because he is a Russian!!!)

THE STORY:

SPACERS CHAPTER 2!!!


They are on the spaceship, now. Kee-bo is on the spaceship.

What is the spaceship called? It is called the Lady Penelope. All ships are ladies. Even the spaceships, I believe. This is a cool one, though. A blue one.

Starbone (BO!) is punching in the buttons, so is the big Rooster, Rusty the Rooster!
Princess Armenian makes the space bath for Kee-bo. The ship is going super-fast, at super speed. The planet behind them, which is Zargon-5, which is Kee-bo’s home, is becoming smaller and smaller, which is actually just a trick of the eye, I know that. But it looks like it is getting smaller.

Do you remember how Kee-bo’s parents (not his real parents) had their skin zapped off by Starbone and Princess Armenian, with their zappers, and then you could see that they were robots. Well, Kee-bo is still sad about that. Also, his sister, Kasaba, I think she is a goner too, and not a robot. That is so sad! She was young, but pretty. Don’t even think about it, I know, but anyways now she’s a goner. Kee-bo’s crying. I know, grow up, right? But he is REALLY sad about it, and he’s all like “Whaaaa!!!??? I’m on a spaceship!!!!” How would that make ME feel? WEIRD.

Princess Armenian. Is she a hooker? She looks like one, but nice. Kee-bo gets in the bathtub. It feels Good!!!!!!! His tears, I believe, become like the so many drops of water that have made his spacebath.

“Why did you zap my mommy and daddy?” This is Kee-bo, asking this question.

“I told ya little feller, they was robots!!! WE HAD TO!!!!” This is Starbone.

So now Kee-bo stops crying. FINALLY.

“Now saddle up, pardner.” (Starbone saying this.) “Yer in fer quite a ride! Spacers style!!!!”

“What is a Spacer?” This is Kee-bo.

“Allow me, monsieur,” says the snooty French robot, the one that is friends with the robot that looks like a big ball. It can even bounce like a big ball, the other one!

The French one (robot) says that a spacer is a special kind of spaceman, a spaceman who lives by his own rules! But also a spaceman that is after the biggest secret in outer space, the location of the BEST PLANET EVER. This planet is supposed to be SO GOOD, so filled with so many awesome things.

“What kind of things?” This is Kee-bo.

The Snooty French Robot says a bunch of things which are all great. What do you think is so great? That is what he said.

Kee-bo is happy now, happy enough to go to sleep right now.

Little does Kee-bo know is that while he is sleeping and the Lady Penelope is traveling at Superspeed the three freaky Siamese twins are reading his mind with their SECRET MIND POWERS.

Also, in another part of the galaxy, there is another ship, but it is weird. It is huge! And it has a face on it, a mean one. This face is so mean, it looks like the meany from the scary one with the scissor hands and the sweater, but it is only half of a face, and the other half is a spaceship. It is a half man half spaceship and it is called McGOOLIHAN! (is that a scary name?) McGOOLIHAN is filled with a bunch of other baddies, the CREEPERS.

ATTENTION CREEPERS!!! (This is the voice of McGOOLIHAN, and it sounds like part-man and part-spaceship, and REALLY scary) DESTROY KEE-BO!!!!

Nooooooo!!!! WHY!!!!???????????

Also, back in the spaceship Lady Penelope, in the spacebath, Kee-bo is having a dream and in his dream is a pretty girl, LEGAL!, and she is all like HELLLLP MEEEEE KEEEE-BOOOO!!!! She is all like floating in clouds and gases when she is saying this, in the dream. Kee-bo (in the dream) is all like Whaaa???? My name is Kee-bo! What’s your name? And she is all like “My name is Aereolahay!!!!”

Also, up in the special captains room which called a cockpit (I am not making this up it is true!!!!!!!) Starbone is all like (not in the dream!) “Uh oh we got trouble dead ahead – looks like a bunch a those darn Creepers!!!”

UH OH! And this is NOT PART OF THE DREAM! There is BIG TROUBLE AHEAD!!! CREEEEEEEEEEEEPERRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

Keep reading the Spacers!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

SPACERS!!!!!!

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NOTE FROM ME:
Will you guess where I am!? I am in line for New Star Wars with my friend Gary who is a DJ. It is so much fun. You can read all about it here (THIS IS A LINK TO THE INTERNET PLACE WHERE I WRITE ABOUT THE MOVIES!!!). I have been talking to my new friends about Timechanges and I have had an idea! People (all kinds!) can, I believe, be learning about the Timechanges from an exciting space story. This will be a spiritual story, and exciting. I will begin the story here, and soon it will be a very famous classic. Get ready for excitement! Here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!


THE STORY:

SPACERS 1: TO THE OUTER SPACE DIMENSION!

In space, in the galaxy.

Silence.
(There are no sounds in outer space.)

But wait!

On Zargon-5, it is a tiny moon planet. It is made of sand.
There is a lake, it is called Zargon Lake.

On the lake lives a family, but the boy is a weird one, the little one.

His name is Kee-bo. (KEE-BO!)

Kee-bo has a face like a black one, also a bit Chinese.
His parents are white ones (?).
His sister is named Kasaba. She is pretty but young, too young. Do not even think about it. DON’T. Even though she has silver cones on her whatsits.

One day Kee-bo is walking around the lake. The moon planet has many moons and even in the morning you can see like, six moons. Every morning Kee-bo walks around the lake. This time, the first thing about Kee-bo is he is sad. Why are you sad, Kee-bo?

Also this time, a spaceship comes down. It is huge, the spaceship. It is a blue one, it is cool.

Out there comes a man, he is a cowboy guy, all sass and such. It is Bo. He is just like the guy Bo on American Idol, only more of a cowboy. He chews the cud.

Also, there is a lady, a scrappy one, her name is Princess Armenian. She is like the blondie on American Idol, maybe, only maybe she looks more like a hooker (but she is not a hooker!!!!)

“Get in, get in!” yells Princess Armenian. (They are zapping now)

Kee-bo does not know what to do (he does not know he is adopted, this one.). They are firing off their zappers (zapping), and Kee-bo is, I believe, scared. He turns around and sees it is his parents that the space people are firing at (!). When the laser bullets hit the skin of his parents, their skin peels off and they are robots!!!!!!!

“WHAT!!!??? NOOOOO!!!!????” (This is Kee-bo)

Kasaba is dead or something. His sister. That’s sad! The cowboy guy – BO! - grabs Kee-bo and puts him on the ship.

Kee-bo is crying. Don’t be a baby, Kee-bo!

The scrappy lady – what is her name? Princess Armenian! She closes the “main hatch.” WHOOSH!

Cowboy guy (BO!) laughs, “Ha Kee-bo, you did not know that your folks was robots, but they are ha ha, and I’m sorry your sis done died but yee-ha we’s gonna have a good time!”

Kee-bo is still crying, in the ship. He can see that it is a cool ship, this one, and there are rugs and chandeliers everywhere (space ones).

Also, a big furry one, a rooster, but big.

Also, some robots. A snooty French robot, and one that is round like a ball, a big ball.

Also, three little Siamese twins who cannot talk but have special mind powers that I will be talking about later.

Kee-bo asks everybody who it is they are and where are they taking him!?

Cowboy guy (BO!) laughs and is like “Ha Kee-bo, we are the Spacers, and you will come with us to the adventure of the universe.”

Kee-bo says “Nooo wayyyy!” and “Awesome!!!!!!!”

BLAST OFF!

He will be having the timechanges, in space. (Kee-bo)

TO BE CONTINUED

(is it better than New Star Wars? Tell me! Be HONEST!!!!!)

Also, NEXT TIME: There will be a bad guy, a giant man who is part-man/part-spaceship! There will also be a pretty girl named Aereolahay. And also, special mind powers and the power of the Timechanges. KEEP READING!