The Timechanges Blogger

These are the times when your life is changing and you need special thoughts from a friend, and that friend is Neal Anderson, a fellow who knows a thing or two about the Timechanges!!!

Name:

I am a personal Timechanges consultant and also, I am a writer!!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

SPACERS 4!!!!!!!!!!!!

OuterSpace

SPACERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all CONGRATULATIONS KELLY MONACO FOR WINNING DANCING WITH THE STARS!!!!!!!!

Okay, what is happening in Spacers ?????? (it has been so long!!! SORRY!!!)
One thing is that the Spacer’s spaceship is now called Lady Ken Jelepy, because the other name was already taken. Also Starbone (the cool one) no longer looks like Bo Bice because Bo Bice is a JERK who thinks people are STALKERS when they are definitely NOT STALKERS. Starbone now looks like me crossed with John Depp (!!) but John Depp in the Pirates one not the superfreaky one about the chocolate where he looks like a freaky lady. Actually, the Spacers are a lot like pirates. Princess Aremenian still looks like Carrie Underwood, our “American Idol” champion, FAIR AND SQUARE.

Back to SPACERS!!!!!!!!!!!

What has happened.? Crybaby Kee-bo’s mom and dad were robots and they were shot by Starbone and Princess Armenian and their Spacer guns, and maybe they shot his sister Kasaba too (by accident). BUT KEE-BO’S ROBOT PARENTS WERE GOING TO KILL KEE-BO so it is fine. Then they (THE SPACERS) take off with Kee-bo in LADY KEN JELEPY the spaceship. Then the CREEPERS (BADDIES!) come up out of nowhere and they blam it up and they kill the snooty French robot. Everybody cries, especially Kee-bo, who is the world’s biggest crybaby. ALSO! McGOOOLIHAN is a real baddie - the half man half spaceship! Aereolahy, we don’t know what her deal is yet, Aerolahay. She is just like “aaaaagh help me Kee-bo!!!!”

Also on the spaceship Lady Ken Jelepy there is RUSTY THE BIG RED ROOSTER MAN.

Also BIG BALL ROBOT.

Also three freaky Siamese twins reading Kee-bo’s mind with their SECRET MIND POWERS.

Now what?

They beat the Creepers - good!

Kee-Bo has stopped crying about the dead Frenchman (thank God!) and he is looking at Princess Armenian and then looking at Starbone (!) and then thinks to himself “These two are made for each other!” And it is true! If ever there were two Spacers more perfect for each other you can bet I would like to meet them ASAP!!! The thing is, even though they are so good for one another, they are always fighting! This is classic stuff. Like sometimes Princess Armenian is wiping the space windows (on Lady Ken Jelepy the spaceship) and Starbone will walk by smoking a cigar and say “Now I seen everything – a Princess wiping my windows!” and she will be like “Ha! Yeah right, I guess you forgot I won this here spaceship from you in a game of cards!” And he’ll be like “You are so f***ing stupid!” and she’ll be “I’m gonna cut your Peterson off!” Then they will kiss a bit, no tongue. Classic!

“Have a beer, Kee-bo!” This is Starbone, throwing Kee-bo a “cold one.” (DO NOT FREAK OUT – I know that Kee-bo is just a boy but this is outer space and the rules are different and do you know what else, beer is different too, it is more like root beer, only with alcohol.)

Kee-bo is starting to chill out, not crying all the time. Now he can ask the questions like a nice calm little one.

“Who are you people and where are going!?” This is Kee-Bo.

“I told ya, ya little brat, we’re Spacers and we’re going to the galactic rim!” This is Starbone.

“Why?” This Kee-bo.

Princess Armenian stands up, very proud. She is like “The High Council of Spacers have told us to go there and when we will get there they will tell us why! They also told us to pick you up from Zargon-5, because your parents were robots that were trying to kill you!”

Kee-bo is crying again. Big Ball Robot goes “BEEP BOOP BAH” to cheer him up. It works! Everybody laughs. HAHAHA!!!!!

Starbone says to Princess Armenian – “Ha you laugh like a horse!”
And she goes: “Ha right and you laugh like a horse’s derriere!!!!” (French)
Then they are all sexy and winking, and Princess Armenian looks a little bit like a prostitute , but one like The Pretty Lady, nice. Maybe they are about to kiss… Are they!!!??? BUT…..

THEN THERE IS A NOISE!

BOOM CLANG A LANG A!!! Uh oh, no!!!!

DON'T CRY KEE-BO!!!

"WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

NEXT SPACERS: MCGOOLIHAN IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 04, 2005

War of Worlds!!!!!!!!!!!

It is so weird I am supposed to put this on the other blogger, the one about the movies, but it will not work and I will have to call someone, but I am so excited about this that I had to had to HAD TO PUT IT ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW so here it is in and then later (when I can) I will put it on the one about the movies but here it is. Spacers will be back soon! Now for A War of the Worlds!

OMG!!!!!!!! The biggest blockbuster is out now, and it is A War of the Worlds!!!! I saw it last night and do you know what? I am really scared. I am scared because this amazing movie is a true and terrifying tale and I have never seen anything like it!!!! There is so much to say!!!!!!! This movie is from two of Hollywood's crown princes, Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, so you know it is going to be good!!!!!

First, the plot of this movie. In this movie, I believe, Tom Cruise plays a cool guy who drives a super crane and is all like “Whatever” when his two nerdy kids show up for the weekend. Their mother is a big old b-word who has left Tom Cruise to marry a nerd. There is the little blonde one from the movie with the black man and a teenage boy who is a nobody and has to finish his homework? But guess what? There is no time for homework when a giant robot man comes up out of the sidewalk, I believe, and starts shooting everybody and eating buildings and such. Tom Cruise is like WHAAAAA???? So even Tom Cruise is scared, I understand that, but why is he not fighting the giant robot? He should get in his jet plane (a la The Top Gun) and blam it up, or go karate on it or something (a la the Final Samari). But I suppose he cannot because he is a father. Then he gets his kids and they are running away. Many people get killed by the giant robots. Then the teenager wants to join the army. His name is Robbie, and he wants to join the army so bad it hurts (I know the feeling Robbie!!!!!!) Then the other guy from the movie with the weirdo river molesters shows up and he is completely bats. Then the river molester and Tom Cruise go into a room together and something happens, I don't know. Then they are running again, and then I became completely scared and I had to make a phone call but I am okay now.

These big robots, they are really some baddies. They are just tearing it up all over the place, and in one scene they are zapping people in a river, just like in The Titanic. I really do not know what I would do if they showed up one day like in this movie. If I ever see lightning, like in a lightning storm, I will just start running and never stop. I AM SO SCARED!!! If I saw the little blonde girl crying alone in the street while I was running, I would give her all of my change but I WOULD NOT STOP RUNNING. She is a smart one, she will be okay on her own. I would not run forever, because I am no coward. Eventually I would join the army like Robbie.

BUT WHY IS THERE NO SUPER CREW IN THIS MOVIE!!!??? If I was the President and the giant robots popped up and started freaking everybody out, I would pick up my special President phone and start calling all the best good guys and then we would have a SUPER CREW to fight the baddies. I would call:

1) The Batman
2) The Superman
3) The Daredevil
4) Miss Jessica Alba
5) Miss Sandra Bullock
6) Rumpelstiltskin
7) Michael Bubbley
8) Blackie Peas
9) Harry Porter
10) The Lord of the Rings
11) Spidey!
12) Darth Vader
13) Geronimo!!!!
14) Jimmy Fallon
15) Tiger Wood!
16) All of the other super people
17) The black one who knows the little blonde one
18) Leonard Kravitz (rock n’ roller)
19) Tom Cruise, because I think he does a pretty good job in this one
20) Tom Cruise’s new wifey Kate Holmes, so they will not be separated
21) Others.

That should do it. Also, my friend Danny P. says that if the witch from The Bewitched was in Herbie they could do it too. IF ONLY HE REMEMBERED that ONLY TOM CRUISE’S CAR WORKS WHEN THE ALIENS COME & NOT EVEN WITCHERY WILL CHANGE THAT. HERBIE WILL NOT WORK FOR THIS ONE SORRY DANNY P.

A lot of things are killed and blown up in this movie, and that made me think of the one from a couple of years ago when the two superbuildings were exploded by the terrorists. Even in this movie the little blonde one goes “Is it the terrorists?” and everyone is like “I’ll bet it is.” Also, the other one that Steven Spielberg made that was set in the past and had the baddies from the Indiana Jones fighting the Jewish. It was in black & white (???). It had a scene like in The Psycho – scary, but everything was okay. Also, as I said before, The Titanic. These are all great movies, I believe, because they show terrible things happening and the whole human race must have timechanges and become okay again through struggle and heroism and much hardship and timechanges. That is why this not just some dumb movie that you go see and are like “Yeah, right, whatever” like Tom Cruise at the beginning, instead you must be like, “Okay, I get it now, I am learning to grow and have the timechanges.”

ALSO! If you get really scared after you see this movie and are always running away everytime you hear the lightning, DO NOT GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. Tom Cruise was saying that they are up to no good like the Indiana Jones baddies (NAZIS!) and I’ll bet that when the robots come down in real life one of them (The Psychiatrists) will be all evil with their white coats and little eyeglasses and be all like “Kill Zem!” (meaning humans not the robots! They will be all buddy buddies with the robots!) and they will tie up Kate Holmes and the little blonde one to feed them to the giant robots. Then if the President can get it together, it will be SUPER CREW TO THE RESCUE! I hope that they would make it there in time. The Super Crew should let Tom Cruise be the one to untie them (his ladies), it is the right thing to do. Okay, so DO NOT GO TO THE HEADSHRINKERS. Also, do not listen to the ones (Media!) who tell you that Tom Cruise is not a straight up straightly straight shooter! He is! He wants to help people! With this movie, he has helped many. Think about it.

See You at the Movies!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Problems That I Am Having

I am having problems with exhaustion and dehydration and I love you all and Spacers will begin again very soon. I found out that there is another lady called Lady Penelope so I will have to come up with a new name for the Spacers Space Ship very soon. Oh well!

Yours Truly, Neal Anderson